Life Is More Than A Slice of Pie

Out of respect for our children, I will not disclose in complete detail everything that was said and done to me. Some things are just too humiliating and will forever remain with me.

In my writings through the years, you mocked me. You thought that I was writing a romance novel. I was in fact writing about my feelings and thoughts without being seen or heard. At the time, I felt it was the safest way for me to release them, yet it continues to rule my existence. It took me 38 years to get here. I don’t know how long it will take to get over it, but this is my first step.

My life on a pie chart:

I have lived every slice of this pie, by your hands and through your words.

To be continued…

 

Emotional Abuse

The cycle of abuse is all about power and control.

At your hands and by your words ,

I have learned what emotional abuse is-

  • Putting me down
  • Making me feel bad about myself
  • Calling me names
  • Making me think I am crazy
  • Playing mind games
  • Humiliating me
  • Making me feel guilty
  • Putting all of the blame for your indiscretions on me

I never dreamed that one day I would feel this overwhelming need to show everyone my anguish, but now it seems as though it might be the only way for me to let it go and move on. I want you to know that I know I am no longer alone.

Cycle of Madness

Lies, cheating, accusations,
sex, drugs, physical and mental abuse,
are like battery acid running through
my veins, spreading your venom, eating
me alive from the inside.

Shorter and shorter the breaths,
burning agony in my chest.
Screams on the inside,
that no one but me can hear.

Shaking on the outside.
Desperation, running thoughts,
getting faster and faster.

How do I stop this cycle of madness?
The fear and pain, revolting looks,
from your eyes that never see the torment in me.
Your anger, hostility and vicious words
shooting at me like poisonous darts.

Hate, greed, selfishness, vanity
are your life’s creed.
Family motto, jealousy.

Hiding the truth, never sorry.
No remorse.
You are always right, of course.

Tantrums, scolding, never holding.
Empty promises, failed wishes, never feeling,
life’s kisses.